NEW YORK CITY: Nina

START SPREADING THE NEWS, the NYC episode is here! In our final episode of 2025, we're chatting with Nina about the magic of New York, the recipe for a perfect bar crawl, and sending break up texts to aspiring poets. Spencer also tells us about her early days being swooned by a particular investment banker and shares her advice for her single friends in the city. Don't forget to rate and review!

Transcript

Audio Only - All Participants: 0:00

so I think this is one that people have been waiting on for a while for sure. And, um, I wanted to start with you, Spencer. Have you ever been to New York? You know, I'm a bit of a hometown hero, if you will. Um, so funny, what I think, what I think was so cool is that, I mean, I'm obviously like. Super out of the dating game. Mm-hmm. But most of my friends are single. Um, and so I think I have for the nu last number of years, lived vicariously through them. I also like go on rock. I go out to, you know, she's a fun girl. She's a fun girl, a fun girl. I still got a little bit of that dog in me, and, and so I think that I, I see it through a lens of my girlfriends. Yeah. But I honestly wanted somebody who I thought was really. Like really embodied, a very mature, but also so super fun. But also that career girl in New York. We love a, we love a business woman on this spot. We love a business woman. And I, yeah, we got the business woman Supreme here. Yeah. She's a coworker of mine. Um, we like met and she's been, you know, with my firm for less than a year, but like, just girly girl. Yeah. Pop energy from, from the, from the jump, which is actually something that I think people try and like, push down a lot in big law. Yeah. Is like mm-hmm. They try and be corporate robot. And so it's always so refreshing when you just have somebody who's very unap apologetic about watching reality television. Mm-hmm. Or like having a blonde moment, or what shoes are you wearing? And you bond with those people instantly because it's like, okay, you're also normal, normal, normal. Which is right. We're dealing with so many abnormal people all day. Exactly. Um, but also I just knew she would have so many ex. Fun stories to tell. Yeah. I also thought that like, what was really cool, what this episode could have been, and of course we wanna interview people like this or like. 22, 23 who are going out every night. Yeah. Right. Who are just like, just absolutely slamming the nightlife out in New York. And we want that perspective too. Yeah. But I also thought this was a super refreshing, like 30, like for every moment of silliness. Mm-hmm. There was also this moment where it felt very grounded in the way she was approaching dating in New York. Hundred percent. I don't wanna get too much into like what she was saying, but I just love how many women we've spoken to that are just like being so intentional about. Like, not just dating, but like building their lives like on their own and Well, yeah, I think intentional about Intentional. About like the way that they speak to themselves. Yeah. Right. Or that they like the way that they are reflecting and internalizing their dating experience in a city that. Not only is like notorious statistically for being hard to date in, but like through their own personal experience. Yeah. Completely. It's been like, it's hard to date in. Yeah. Um, so I think that that's like, people are not alone, but it's always really encouraging so you, I mean, you have dated in New York because when, we were living in DC you would, get a blowout. Correct me if I'm wrong. I think we talked about No, this is so true. There was a recipe like get a blowout on Thursday and then take the train up on Friday. Yes. And spend the weekend with Brooks, who originally she was visiting him in New York as a friend, had a friendly line. Did you with a friend? Did No, I always knew that he was in love with you. Well, and like it was a date. And Spencer was like, I'm going to a concert with my friend. And we're like, okay. Yeah. You forgot one thing in the recipe. I'd get a blowout on Thursday. Uhhuh my rent. The runway would, my rent the runway would come on Friday morning, so I would have fresh. Yeah. Fresh output. Yes. To just take me through the entire week, Uhhuh and the weekend, and then I would take, that was really nice of you to say that I took the train because you took the mega bus. I took the mega bus. Yeah. I was, you took the mega bus to New York. So many times those, those like roads hate to see me coming and I hated to see them coming. Yeah, because it's. So funny because it's like you would be up there with your RINs runway. I'm like putting my Louis Vuitton duffel like, and it's like, why? Well, because Amtrak was, these girls went beyond their means clearly. Yes. No living B, living beyond my, my means was my middle name. And those early years, and that was the method. That was the method. Of course, we couldn't do anything else. Yeah. And then I knew I wouldn't spend a dollar once I got to New York. Exactly. Yeah. It was all an investment. So in those early days, a couple of things I was thinking about, did you always envision yourself when we were in college and when we were in dc like obviously you dated a ton in dc Did you want to like date like New York men at that time? Like do you remember thinking about it and having this like dream of being in the city and dating city boys. Like I feel like we never talked about that. No, because to be totally honest, I was raised in Eastern North Carolina. Like I, I felt like I had a, I thought that I had a more worldly perspective than I did. Right. Does that like, which is like any 19 20-year-old girl, um, you just like, think that you're so worldly and mm-hmm. Like global and whatever. And so I don't think I, I, what I certainly did not have a concept of is like what Brooks. Did like being a New York business, right? Yeah. Type. Um, which also like put, weighed a dynamic in our relationship in the early beginning. And so I think that I just, I, college was not my time for dating. I think that like, I just, I didn't put myself out there. Um, we also never thought beyond college, I feel like, which I. I, I still to this day say like, that was the best thing we ever did. Our entire world was Chapel Hill, North Carolina. And like we didn't even try and date like post grads or anything like that. It was like, yeah, we wanted to be with the best guys at the school and like just be in that moment with them. Totally. And I just, I also. Simultaneously would not talk to them or try and talk. Right. Of course. Which was like the crazy thing. I just thought that they would, they would find like a light would shine on me across the bar and it for when I It did, it did for one. I don't know. He saw beneath the veneer. Yeah. Um, I didn't meet Brooks in college, but um, yeah, I think, and so when I moved to dc, which is where I moved after college, I think I just was like, I want to date an adult. Man. Yeah. I wanna date a man who is an adult. I want to, and we were also very excited about being like in the political scene. So I feel like Totally, totally. And so I honestly wasn't conceptualizing a New York guy because honestly I was conceptualizing like I'm ready to date. Mm-hmm. The chief of staff in this office. Of course. Right. Or like this political punt or correspondent or whatever. And so I actually had a very like new Washington DC Yeah. Centric, but I wanted to date a lot and I wanted to date like men, like adult men. Yeah. Um, and I dated like as hard as I could for a couple of months in DC Um, and I, it was actually devastating when I realized, like, unfortunately I really like Brooks because I was like, I, I'm going to have to start, stop dating in dc Yeah. So pretty bad timing for like. You know, Spencer 2.0. I was like going to workout classes daily. I was eating less than 5,000 calories a day. Right. Which was like, and the, which I was doing in college. Um, and so when you stop having cheese, fries or pizza every single night at 1:00 AM you, you'll after three meals, your body Right, of course. Your sorority, you'd be amazed. So, um, anyways, all to say that like. I had no concept, but I very quickly became clear that I'm so glad that, that was the type of person that I should have ended up with. Of course. And then like, what, what was that like, like going on your first dates in New York? Can you remember like going to like your first New York dinner, like going to see a show or something of course. Oh my God. Like my boyfriend lives in New York. Yeah. It was literally, I felt like I was sex in the city. Yeah. Like everything was exciting to me. Everything was so expensive. Like I just. Like, I'm like, Brooks's first apartment was like literally in rock center and I was like, I'm at the epicenter. Like, why? I don't know, but like I'm at the epicenter of the universe. Mm-hmm. And he took me to like, he like met me for lunch on that Friday or something.'cause I got in early. Um, and he took me to like a sushi burrito place. And I just remember it being like. That's what they do in New York. They mind blown. This is so, they're so creative. Um, but I just remember thinking it was so much bigger than me and I felt so like, um, provincial. Mm-hmm. Um, but very. Very grateful that I had the opportunity to experience it. Um, and like he was also making, like you, I mean he put in the hours, but he was making a really great salary. Yeah. Yeah. Um, and so he was able to take me to these like really nice dinners, which is also just so sweet and so generous. Um, but men are able to roll out the red carpet in that way in New York. Yeah. Because they're working 80 hour weeks. Right. Which are expected. And because they're getting those salaries, you know, it's, it's a dynamic like nowhere else, I don't think in, in the country. Yeah. And then you learned quickly that, you know, you would get to go on these dinners at 9:00 PM and or seven other girls, right? Um, not with Brooks. Brooks was like, or was a rare find, but for, for me it would be like, I would come up for a weekend and we would have two or three of these dinners or meals planned and some weekends we'd be able to do all of them. And during his first and second year at his bank. Some weekends, I would not actually see him at all. Yeah. Which is also a dynamic you have to like, and now he, and now he gets to relive that on the other side where he's just like, right now he loves to tell me. Yeah. Yeah. That I have no time for him. Yeah, exactly. Um, is, are there things that you see now when you talk to your friends dating in New York that you're like. I'm so glad I didn't have to deal with that or like that you feel like has changed. Obviously you weren't like single in New York, so some of that you just didn't experience, but like the way that the city has evolved over time. I mean, I just like, I don't, yeah, I think that. Guys are not friendly in New York. Or so was like my experience trying to be an observer, I guess. Mm-hmm. Um, and maybe things have changed. I like hear that there's a renaissance of people meeting people in person again. Right. Um, but I don't think it's a very outgoing city. I think it's one of the least outgoing cities. And so it, you're either meeting guys almost exclusively on apps or you're having to approach them at bars. Mm-hmm. Like girls really don't get approached. By guys at Barss, or at least that was not my experience. Yeah. With my friends. Yeah. Um, which is so funny because in LA everyone's like, I need to go to New York, where the men actually approach you. Yeah. That doesn't happen, but it's like, yeah, maybe. Maybe in the Hamptons guys approach. Girls in the Hamptons for sure. It's like. They, I'm like, yeah, as in my experie, I feel that's not my experience. The Hampton, except for that one old guy who then got my work email and I was like, is this, you got a mentor? Yeah. I was like, is this a professional connection? I wanted to go to the surf lodge. I didn't want to like have a mentor. Um. I mean, I just think that from my perspective guys, it's a city very much where guys are actively dating as many girls as possible. The girls are beautiful, the girls are from great schools, the girls are well-rounded. Um, and so, um, it could be really, really hard on an ego. Um, and so that's really something that like, I'm glad that I didn't even have to do. Me, like approaching guys just doesn't even happen in the first place. And if I repeatedly had to like suit myself up every Friday or Saturday night to do that, um, I could see how that could be super exhausting. Um, but something I I, something that I tell my, like I see in New York is. You have to accept for the first couple of months of relationship with a guy in New York that he's actively dating multiple other girls. And I think that, I think this is probably true and it's so easy to say and harder to live. Yeah. Is that I always tell my girlfriends, you have to hang on loosely. Like that's my like major phrase for my girlfriends is Hang on loosely. Yeah. Because. We've talked about this in so many different like ways, but like the second you start getting invested. Yeah. Or not dating multiple guys as well, or showing them that you care about this. Yeah. Is the second that they are no longer interested or they choose someone else or they're not ready to get serious. I think another thing about New York dating, just from like my experience and knowing people is that. It's actually a really, really small town. Um, and I think our Denver episode spoke to this. Yeah. Because she was like coming back to New York where she had a crew. Mm-hmm. She has people, she has her family, like the, the Long Island Pipeline, the Westchester Pipeline. Like people have crews in the city that they either like went to college with. Yeah. They, um, or they went to high school with, and so. I think that that's another, can be another detriment to dating. Yeah. Is that they're not going out and seeking new people because they can meet somebody that they. Meet an old person, remeet an old person, or meet somebody through a friend of a friend that they went to some sort of school or something with, or like they were never close with, but whatever. Mm-hmm. And so, um, that can be a little intimidating and also Yeah, feel a little exclusive. Yeah. Um, it's almost like kind of with the like taxi cap theory that we've talked about. Like they can have the mindset that like, okay, well I can date every girl in New York and then when I decide I'm ready, it's serious. Yes. I can tell one of my friends from college Oh, set me up with like whatever friend is Yeah, yeah. With a girl from Scottsdale. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. No, that's very interesting. I'm realizing it sounds like I'm talking really negatively about New York, but I think just like with what we talk about this episode, I also, I always sound like I want to be single on this podcast. I don't, I'm happily married to my husband. I love him so much, but. It would also be so, and I know it's easy for me to say because I have the luxury of return, like of like knowing that this is a false reality, but I think it's all mindset and it would be so exciting to date in New York City. A hundred percent. It would be like, and I think for multiple reasons. One, you can date the businessman, you can date the actor, you can date the bartender, you can date the media guy. And it's very, there's no like magician trick, like, you know exactly the, the type of guy you're dating mm-hmm. Very quickly into dating them, which I think there's a little bit more smoke and mirrors in la. Um, and you can also like very easily filter which guy you want to date, right? Yeah. It's very clear. Um, you also can doing that via app or just the bars in the neighborhoods that you frequent. Um, yeah. Agreed. It's a, it's a place where like you can, people are alone. All the time. Mm-hmm. And so I'm not saying that people are going to approach you or be super friendly, but it's a place where being alone is super expected. So going out to a bar by yourself, sitting down, having a drink, going to the park by yourself, going on a walk with your dog. Mm-hmm. Like all of those things are super normal things to do by yourself. Exactly. And so there's, there's, there's chances that other single people would approach you. And I will say guys are very good looking in New York. Yeah. I'll agree with you on that one. Yeah, not the tallest. Not the tallest kings. Where? Where the hell are the tall guys? I guess they're all in Chicago. They're all in Chicago. Because that's the only place that like doesn't complain about height. And yeah, Kayla's, Kayla has all of the big men on lock so I do have a few facts for you about New York. Yeah. Um, I figured you would know all of the big ones, so I kind of went with more of like a dating lens. Um, and then I have, I do have one, um, that I hope that, I'm hoping you've never heard that. So, New York State residents are the least likely to ever marry. Okay, nice. Out of any US state, um, and, uh, more than a third of New York women will never marry 36%. That is way too high. Yeah, that's extreme. I hope it's all of their own accord, but, um, yeah, same. It probably is, honestly. Yeah. Yeah. Um, on the, on the bright side, New York City has the most millionaires of any city in the world. See, there's some upside, so you may not marry, but you can go along some on some great dates along the way. Exactly, exactly. You have'em jet you out to Paris. I had a girlfriend who, whose boyfriend very, very early on, dreaded her out to Paris for a weekend trip. I've actually heard that multiple times. That's insane because finance guys have like 48 hours and if they have a free weekend, they're like, let's rip it. And I will say like. That's the thing that people are right about is like, men buy you drinks in New York. If they do approach you, they buy you a drink. Yes. Whereas like a guy will approach you in LA and then just like walk away because they remember that they're broke and or they'll like order a drink for themselves. Like, that's happened to me. Yeah. That would never, like, that would never happen. Yeah. They, they are the guy's buying you a drink in spend their money on you. Yeah. Yeah. Um, okay. And then here is my, um, random one. Okay. You're more likely to be bitten by a New Yorker than a shark. I actually know that. Fun fact. Oh fuck yeah. It's actually at a like club in the city, on the wall, on the stairwell. Um, that fact is like in the tile. I love that have never been bitten myself, but, um, I, I feel like I know a friend of a friend who's certainly been, been bitten by, by Robin? Well,'cause the, the, I mean, there was the girl at the law firm that was biting. Oh my God. Yeah. These days big wall lawyers are biting you. Yeah. You can't forget about, you can forget about the homeless people. Might not get married. Might end up with millions. Yeah, I get bitten. Might get bitten. And that's the thing about New York is that anything could happen.

18:07

A recent survey found that most single men and women between the ages of 18 and 34 say that they want a romantic relationship. But nearly all of those surveyed, including 91% of men, and 94% of women say they think the current dating environment is more difficult than ever. We are getting to the bottom of this with conversations with real people dating in cities across the country because our democracy is under attack. But so are our sex lives. I'm Megan. I'm single and dating in Los Angeles. I'm Spencer. I'm married, living in New York City. Welcome to Date of the Union.

Audio Only - All Participants-1: 18:49

I'm so excited. Nina has been at my work for I guess like about a year and a half. Like a year and a half. Spencer. We're so off here. I started working in April. Oh my God. No time does not mean anything, but time flies, you know. Okay. Immediate connection. She came into my office with her matcha and I was like, this girl and I we're gonna hit it off. Amazing. So we started doing like$25 smoothies. For all these like stupid like continuing legal education things. Okay, so we'll just go ahead and get started. Yeah. Thank you again for joining us, Tina. Of course. Um, we always start with just like quick and dirty statistics. Yes. So what's your age, obviously if we hit on your job, but job, where are you from school, why and when did you move to New York? And how long have you been in New York? Okay. I'm 30. 30. Um, you're in good company. Yeah, it's been a big year. I'm allure. Um, I grew up in the Boston area. In the suburbs of Boston. Cool. Like where the Revolutionary War started. That's kind of like how I try to map people. Love that. Yeah. Um, I came to this city in 2019. I'd started law school in Denver. Loved it. I just sort of realized I felt like a big fish in a small pond. Mm-hmm. And, um, I just was like not wanting my career to be there. And so I felt like I had to move. I had to transfer law schools to be in a law school in New York to kind of get in. So I transferred to Brooklyn Law School in New York, which I went to for a semester and then COVID happened, and then I was remote. So I'm like, did I go to law school in New York? I dunno. So tell us about your current relationship status and like your dating history in New York, um, and then kind of what you're looking for right now. Yeah, so I was in like a long-term relationship with my college boyfriend. Okay. Um, uh, for like most of my twenties. And then that ended a couple of years ago, um, 20, almost 27, 26, 27, something like that. Um, and then, and like I thought this was like the end all be all. I was like, oh, I'm so lucky. I was like, I found my person early. Um, and which also that's like the classic breakup time of like, no, it, it is such like first, right. It really, really is. Um. And, but yeah, I mean, like, wish him all the best. I'm so close to his mom still, um, which is like funny. Um, which was like a, the same, a better relationship. The, no, he moved there. Um, it's like part of the reason why we broke up was just like he left New York and I wasn't gonna go follow him. I had to like, I had to like, at some point, you know, be like this, like, I'm not gonna do that for you. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Um, and did he move to a cool place? Yeah. He's in Wyoming. Okay. Unfortunately, we can never go back to Jackson Hole, but, no, he's a really cool person. Um, and like that's sort of like my problem is like he didn't work out for us in the end, and I'm glad that it didn't. Um, I'm glad that we dated for as much as we did and I learned so much about myself, but it's hard to meet someone that I think is as good as he was. Yeah, totally. Um, and I mean, I know I've met people that are like better in like certain areas, but I think he is, uh, he has a really like beautiful spirit of life and it's hard to sort of find that in New York. Um, but yeah, so like I've dated around since then. I've, I've met people. I had this like one guy I was like on and off with for a very long time. Mm-hmm. And it just became too much of a rollercoaster of, but it was like addictive of the, like, when we were back on and mm-hmm. Just like, like my survey situation. Yes. And it was just like so deep and passionate and, um, but then it was just, it was just always like the same thing happening and I was, he was never gonna like, choose me. Yeah. And so I kind of had this like, realization of being like, you know, nothing changes and nothing changes. Mm-hmm. And I was like, this has just gotta stop. Because I had this realization of being like, wow, I'm in the exact same place I was a year ago with this guy. I cannot be doing the same thing. Like this time, year, year, a year from now. Yeah. Yeah. And New York is like a really bad city in that regard for like giving men the option to not have Jews. I, we were talking on a previous episode and like, it really allow, like, the way that the city is set up is it's, it's actually impressive how much men are able to be infantile. Not just men. No. But like, people are able to be infantile for so much longer because the system is like curated to, like, you go to work, food is readily available, you only can go to bar. Like, it's, it's like there's only so many pieces around the city and there's so many beautiful, incredible women. Yes. And then there's always like the younger one coming. Right. Which like, I don't normally like find, I never feel like threatened by women. Yeah.'cause if a man wants to go to another woman, he will. Like, it's, it's nothing about her. Yeah. It's just about him. It's so, I don't like view competition in that way. Um, but it is like something noticeable of like the guys. That you are like of your age, that you just start to notice that they just start like dating, like younger and younger. Oh.'cause it's like less pressure on them. Actually, I wanna ask both of you guys this question. Both a single, girls in big cities where I'm sure this is a thing.'cause like for me, like I'm obviously married, but I still like, I don't feel 30 guys. I feel, feel I totally don't, I feel like I'm maybe 25, 26. Yeah. Yeah. That's exactly how I feel. Well, we are, we are 27 in COVID years. So COVID years. COVID years. Yeah. But like do you feel like it's the same Megan? Like can you think of a situation like where you've been like out, like both of you like out at a bar or like doing something and you realize that like, oh my God, that girl is five years younger than me. Yeah. Like a lot. I think when I was 29 I was spiraling a lot about turning 30, and that's when I was noticing it. And I would be like, these guys are too young for me too. Like, I would be like, oh, the, the cute guys at the bar like are like too young. And then yeah, started to notice like, okay, these little bitties. And they have so much fresh energy and they're like, in these miniskirts, and I'm like, it gets cold at night in la. Yeah. Like I am wearing jeans. Like why are you freezing for no reason. Things like that. And then I have heard guys like our age be like, I don't wanna date a woman. In her thirties. Like they think about that like they're like 29 and younger. It's crazy. Yeah, I know. Yeah. I, for me, it's like when I go to CVS, so I live in the West Village, which is now just, I, I'm starting to be like, am I too old to live here? But Oh yeah. I've heard about all of this, like the TikTok notification of West Village. Yeah. And it's like, I only really like, my problem is like when I go to CVS and then the, the girl in front of me and like, they ask for the birthday and she's like, 2000. And I'm like, oh yeah. My God. Yeah. And like the first one I was like, kind of took me back and then like, you hear it again and again and I'm like, fuck. Yeah. That's kind of what, and then I have recently, I've always, so I've always sort of thought like West Village is more like where women live. Mm-hmm. And, but recently I've been like a lot of the younger men are moving here and I have started to notice that in the past couple months. I'm like, you're clearly like a 27-year-old man. Yeah. Like at best. Right. Um, and I'm like, yeah. So I don't ordinarily go out in like the very young places, which Right. I feel like helps a lot. But Yeah. There are times where I'm like, uh, there's definitely an in differe. Yeah, it's happening. Okay. So you had the boyfriend in New York when you moved to New York, but when, and you also had this like heated, will they, won't they off again Thing, yes. Like kind of like following that, but in the, but immediately post breakup or like once you had kind of like got yourself together from this like big long love of your life relationship. Yes. What did you feel like the kind of guys that you were like dating in New York, like what did you expect to date and then what did you feel like you ended up going on dates with? What a good question. Um, I don't think I knew what I expected. I think also because That's good. Yeah. My ex was in many ways, very different from like a lot of the guys I had been seeing prior to him. And I, and I remember always thinking, oh, I would never have picked him for myself if I, if someone had given me like a list of, what do you want? It wouldn't have like matched my boxes or whatever. But I'll just love Tim so much and his personality, and I'm so grateful for how much it opened me up as a person. And so I've always tried to carry that through of just being very, like, just open to people and not wanting to settle down on certain, or maybe not personality traits, maybe that is what I am looking for is like certain things like, you know, that they're hardworking mm-hmm. And that they are adventurous and curious and intelligent and like these sort of things. But,. I'm not like, oh, he must do this job, or He must live in this neighborhood. Yeah. Or he must have this color hair or more like surface level type, like all the things that I feel like I'm really interested in, in person are things that will take time to like, come out through conversation. Yeah. And it's also just like all about the vibe, right? Like this, this guy that I was on and off with for a very long time, like the first time I met him I was like, oh, like, I was like, I don't wanna jump your bones. I was like, uh, but then like, he had such great like personality and confidence and we just clicked instantly and I was just like, oh yeah, like, let's go. Um, so like that just happens and how long did that go on for? I can't remember if you said the on and off. Yeah. Two years. Wow. Too long. Too long. Too long. And it just like, it just recently ended, right? Yes. Oh my goodness. Um, like, I haven't really seen him since September. And how did you meet him? Technically Hinge. Okay. Like I saw him on Hinge. Yeah. But I was like, but I went to college with his sister and, and she's like very, very good friends with one of my best friends. And Uhhuh. I was like, oh my gosh, is this like so-and-so's brother? Because I felt like I'd seen him before, like on social media and whatnot, and she was like, oh yeah. Oh my gosh. Like, you guys will totally get along. I can't believe I never thought of setting you two up, but like, you're just be such a great match. And it really was like, as soon as we started talking within like half an hour, it was like, this is like a click, you know? Yeah. Wow. And so that's, that's how that happened. Okay, so thinking about New York, like what are the different types of guys there? Is it a geographic thing? All of the different characters. Just lay those out for us. Totally. I mean, yeah, you have probably your, your finance pros, you have your, that live in between like West Village, Tribeca Fi D and uh, if they're 22, they'll live in Murray Hill. Oh yeah. It's like there's a pipeline. A good friend of mine, she calls, um, like the Murray Hill area. She calls it like Little Ann Arbor. Um, little Ann Arbor. Funny. Oh, that's really funny. Yeah. And yeah, so it's like, it's like school to Murray Hill to. So then if you're a girl, probably West Village, and if you're a boy, maybe East Village. Mm-hmm. I feel like East Village is either for like the, the boy version of the West Village girl, or it's like the more, kind of like a little older, but like Artsier crowd. Okay. Yeah. Very artsy. Um, but then that artsy crowd has now kind of since moved to Williamsburg. Yeah. Um, and then that Artsier crowd has moved to Bushwick. Um, I will say like, I probably would never go out with a guy who lives in Bushwick just because not, but I, I feel like that totally contradicts what I was saying earlier, but I, I just feel like we're realistically not gonna have a lot of the same things in common. If you live in Bush completely, that's 100% a long distance relationship to get out there. Um, I even think like a long distance relationship is fi d. Okay. That's not, not, so is that like, is that like hipsters? What's the difference? Yes. In like a Bushwick guy and a Williamsburg guy? Um, a Bushwick guy is definitely like an artist. Okay. Um, or bartender. Bartender. Okay. Um, like trust fund, but doesn't work kind of a vibe. Yeah. Or just moved to New York. Um, from middle of nowhere. Yeah. Like Indiana. Yeah. And like, and has$12. Yeah. Yeah. And then Williamsburg is like a combo I feel like, of like artistic guys or like super liberal guys. And so they might not have like, they might be in like media or something that's not finance or graphic designers, sales. Totally. But then because finance guys are always about like up in their square footage. Yeah. Like it actually is becoming more of like a commercialized Interesting. Like, so you could find somebody who like works for JP Morgan living in Williamsburg. Totally. But you could also find somebody who does like, you know, be poetry on Saturday night. Totally. And so I'm moving in February and I, because I have just, I'm time, it's time for a bigger space and like a real proper apartment. I need a dining table. I need to not see my bed on my couch. Um, and I'm like, I might move to Williamsburg, like, just because I don't know if I can do it, but like it's a contender. The first place I ever lived in New York was Williamsburg. I think it's very cute. Yeah, it is. But it's just very, I think of it as just being very crowded. Mm. Um, and limited train options, right. To get back into the city. Yes. And if one's down, you're fucked. You're Yeah, totally. And then, um, wait, we don't wanna leave out like our Upper West, east side. Upper East and Upper West is for once you're married? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Like I would never be like if I was invited to a house party on the upper. Actually that's not true. If you were invited to a house party on the side, you should go somebody, you should absolutely go at somebody's rich parents' apartment. Yeah. But it's not like I would be trolling the upper West side or Upper East side. Right. Like thinking I would find a single man. Yeah. It's just, is there one like. Borough, is that the, is that the correct term that I should use for these? Is it or, neighborhood? Neighborhood, neighborhood. Neighborhood. I have no idea. Is there one neighborhood that's like the dream, like guy, like I would say in la like at this age it's kind of like Brentwood. Like you really want a Brentwood guy.'cause that's like, he's got money. Like he's not a Venice fuck boy anymore. Is there something like that where it's like, oh my God, he's from such and such, or like he lives in, Ooh, Nina, I'm, I'm interested to hear what you have to say. Yeah. And then I'll go, yeah, I mean, there's obviously some neighborhoods are notoriously more expensive than other neighborhoods, right? So, you know that if a person's living in that neighborhood, they're spending more money on rent, which does not really equate to anything in New York or New York really is a lot of smoke mirrors. So it just means that they're spending a lot of rent. Doesn't mean that they have a lot of money necessarily, but I mean, um, if they live in Tribeca, they're definitely, yeah, usually like, I feel like there's a lot of. Private equity MDs that live in Tribeca 100%. But at the same time, it's like, it's the young family, rich family starter back in Tribeca. Totally. So it's like, you might be like staring at a guy in a coffee shop like, this is the hottest guy I've ever seen. And then his like 2-year-old walks in the tour. Yeah. Yeah. But I mean, I would be like super into a guy that lives in Tribeca. Yeah. But also like, again, if you were t if you, I feel like it's, it's a universal caveat in this entire podcast. I can say things, I mean, I don't know. I mean, I feel like, to be honest, I dunno that I would be interested in a man that lived in Tribeca because I like a grunge or man, I like a man that's like, who? I don't know, it's like a little outdoorsy and is kind of like, yeah, I was gonna say, I think Nina, we date very different guys. I'm sure we use Spencer, which is, which is like, for example, like I would like a guy who lived in Gramercy. Oh wait, I feel like a lot of men are in Gramercy. Yeah, I do. Yes. We can talk about this one guy Gramercy two bed. I have some funny stories. Okay, go ahead. His name is just Gramercy two bed. Um, I guess sometimes, like my dating life does tend to be like, I'll put up like a decent amount of effort in, I'll like, use like hinge a little bit and I'll get a couple of dates and then I'll, the energy is flowing and I'll be mm-hmm. Then I'll be set up with someone and then, you know, one of my previous hookups will come back around and like, the plate will be full. Yeah. They're off, you know, the, the bench is stacked. Yeah. And I'm having fun. I'm like, not having fun, but I'm having fun. Yeah. Um, and then I'll be like, oh, I'm so over this. Like, I just, you know, nothing is what I want and I don't wanna see any of these men ever again. And then I'll have like a month or two, um, where I just like don't see anyone. Mm-hmm. And then I'll be like, oh, enough of that on board. Restart. Yeah. Same thing. Um. So anyway, so a lot of these men don't get names because it's, it's just not really worth my time. It's not not worth the energy. It's not, they don't get their contact saved and they don't No, exactly. These men, I still like, when I like look for these texts, I'm like, I know. One's their area code. Exactly. Um, yeah, so there's this one guy, um, I think I started seeing him like this time last year and yeah, so he was a couple years older. Um, I was 29 at the time. He was like 33 at the time. And um, and he was just like ready for a wife, like you could just tell, you know, and yeah, he lived in a two bedroom in Gramercy, which like keeps, like, kept bringing up, which is such, that's like one of the biggest flexes, but he just Right. You know, but he knew it. Yeah. Yeah. And he wanted me to know he was a broken record about it. Yes. And he also has a car, another flex. Um, like it's a huge deal to have a car in the city. Huge. Yeah. That is, yeah. Yeah. Um, and in unit laundry, like, I was like, stop now I'm jealous. Yeah. Um, he's like, wait, he was very, he was very like forward about like what he brought to the assets he brought to the table. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Like, and that was a problem for me. Yeah. Yeah. Um, because I'm like, I need to like find out that you're secretly have these things. Do you know what I mean? Like, you can't like come out, it's just like being flashy about it. It's just sort of like Well, it's like wealth whispers babe. Exactly. Yeah. And yeah, it's giving you money. Yeah. Well he's clearly like very, has worked a lot and it's come up a lot and it's very proud of that, which I really commend, but it just kind of gives like that that's all that he values. Yeah. And there's just so much in life and he thinks that that's all he needs to offer. Yes. Yeah. And I'm like, I'm not impressed by the fact that you have these things. Like I'm impressed, you know, by certain things that you would do or be interested in or like traveling and, you know, like those types of things. But she just doesn't really like picking that up. Okay, so Nette, like, we went on a couple of dates and like, it was fine. I was bored and mm-hmm. Um, I could really talk to a mop, which sometimes it's like, I get in situations where men are just like, when I'm kind of say I'm not interested and then they're like, well, why we had so much fun. And I'm like, no, no, no, we didn't have fun. You had fun. I'm like, you had fun. I'm like, I could like, you know, I made the conversation and I kept going and like brought up interesting things, but like, you were not fun. I'm just a conversationalist. Yeah. Yeah. I'm like, and so. Just like kind of how it felt for a while. And also, I mean, he was taking me to some really nice places, which is really nice, right? Like, you know, no, no man is as nice as a man that hasn't slept with you yet. Um, that is so true. I quote that. Yeah. That is so good. And like, they try so hard. Um, and like they really are willing to like, take you to like nice places and like mm-hmm. But then also, like, I remember it was like our second or third date and he was just like being like, do you wanna go to do like indoor golf? And I was like, do I wanna do indoor golf? Absolutely not. Like, and um, that was his segue to talk about how he was a member of a golf club, Spencer. Exactly. And that's why he has a car. Okay. No, I'm sorry. New York men are too predictable. They're too predictable. Oh my God. And it was like, it was so bad. And then I ended up like literally like planning the date for him because I was like, there's, there's just like a really good recipe for like early dating, which is just like that you bought, like you pick a place to meet in a good area, dime square, for example. Yes. And you like pick one bar and then you're like, we're gonna meet here. And then like, you're just going to have a couple other places that you'll check out and you're just gonna barhop and have some appetizers like at each place at the bar. And like, it's just like fun so I suggested that then finally we went out again. He also kept being like, I'm sick. And I'm like, that's embarrassing. Um, it's like, no. That's what we always say, like, why like men are so comfortable lying except for the things that they should lie about. Yes. I've had a guy that canceled a day because yet a stomach bug and it's like, I actually don't need, I haven't met you yet. I don't need to picture you on the toilet. Like, just say, oh my God, something with work comes, came up and then I'm like, okay, hot. Yeah. And you're sick. You whittle baby. Yeah. You have the sniffles. Yeah. I know it's just, yeah, just do better, you know what I mean? Do better. Yeah. Just what you're doing is do better. Like, why are you not taking vitamins like an adult and, okay. So I guess we had gone on like two sun, like we'd gone on a dates on Sunday, like two weeks in a row. And this is when I like, knew it was over. And it only been like two dates, two or three dates. Um, and he was like trying to plan something for the next Sunday. So he was like asking for a day for like the following week and I was like, oh yeah, we can just do like, it's a Sunday, Sunday, Sunday trition at this point. And this text was so horrible. He goes, it's, it's a tradition unlike any other good meal sidewalk make out under the stars. Hot Sig walks, bar zis. Name me something better. I'll wait. And I'm like, I'm, I'm, I'm what? Um, and I'm like, we smoke like one cigarette. Like you, you zen obviously. Oh, that's another thing. You should know all in New Men. Yeah. Zi Middle. I'm actually so out. I'm about to get up from this table and he's like, make under the stars. Yeah. I'm like, we, we barely kissed and we were in grammar. He was chat g pt, he not, no chat. No. It sounds just like when people's chat, GPT is like trying to be fun in Florida. Yeah. And I was name something better already. Oh that would've been like the, the way my body would have, I was holding in on itself and'cause all my friends were like, give this guy a chance. Like, he seems so nice. He keeps like trying not to take, get nice places. And I read this to them and they were all like, okay, you can stop. I'm like, also is it a tradition? Like and no other, isn't that like some sort of sports reference? I hope not. If it, it went over my head. If it was. Hold on. I really think it's like, I mean, it's definitely, yeah, it's bad. That's what it is. It's bad. It's the tagline for the Master's golf tournament. Oh my God. Okay. Spencer Schwarz, girl, wait, this is even cringing. Well, he can't stop. He cannot help himself. This is crazy. Um, nothing was original. No original thought. Zis. Imagine texting a girl like y'all my perfect night is doing zis with you. I know. And so then like a week later, like I, he ends up being sick and I'm like, thank God. Got out the date. And then like the next week I got sick and I like texted him that. And then I felt like he kind of like understood that I was just kind of like not that interested. Now, it's been like two weeks since that. And then he texted me. Um, have you recovered or did you come down with Norovirus and, uh, I didn't respond. Um, oh my gosh. Then two weeks after that he texted me, so how would you like to grab a drink again sometime soon or has the ship set sail? And so I texted him back the next day, I just go, this ship has set sail, unfortunately, and I do the like, colon backslash for like the smiley face. It's like, and then he texts back, damn, what did I do? And, um, I wasn't gonna like, be truthful because not someone hurt his feelings. Like, and I'm sure he'll find someone who's like equally obsessed with material goods as Yik. Totally. And I hope that, yeah. So did, did, but did you kind of just like c cite a bunch of like random, ambiguous things, Spencer? What I said was, it's not you, it's me. She said, here's a man who loves a platitude and I'm gonna be become ultimate platitude. I was like, that's amazing. Yeah. I, I consider myself like very unserious, um, about like, almost everything in life. Um, and I'm just like, it's just like not serious. So I was like, and I just thought that was really funny okay. So then he text me back. Damn, hit me with that line. Well, sad to hear that, but understandable. If the ship ever does come back to port, feel free to reach out. He is like, I'm doubling down on this. On the sailing metaphor. Yes. Also, I forgot to mention this, but he's divorced. Oh, he's 33 and he's divorced. Okay. And yeah. Um, and he would like always talk about her in like, in a very negative way and like, talk about the divorce settlement. I'm like, I don't even know this. Oh, the divorce settlement. Yeah. And I'm like, honestly, I'm just like on her. Like I don't really know what she did, but I just know I'm on her side. Yeah. Completely. So I want Nina, what, this is a perfect segue into our next question Yeah. Which is what have you felt like holistically is the worst thing about dating in New York? Hmm. That it's just difficult to meet someone. Yeah. Um, like the apps, you, I obviously can meet men on apps. Um, and I do, but it's just, it's not organic. Yeah. Yeah. And um, you go, I mean, I go out and like, sometimes I'll get a guy's number, I'll get like I my number and sometimes that might lead to something. So that definitely happens, but it's just not, I feel like the culture we have anymore of people really trying to make connections. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I try, I feel like I try more to have female connections. Yeah. Um, I try really hard to build that. I probably should be better about trying to build more male connections, but I just feel like there's a lack of opportunity to Yeah. Really connect with men. Yeah. I feel like Hinge is difficult in New York because it's like the whole idea is that I'm supposed to be able to walk out of my apartment and get swept off my feet and like it's supposed to be this like city where anything could happen and it's magical. So it's like, why am I like in the most populous city in the world having to use an app to meet a man? Totally. Like, so it's almost like more frustrating than being somewhere else and being on Hinge because it's like, this is not how this is supposed to be. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And I've definitely lived in other places where I feel like people are organically, like meeting more easily. Mm-hmm. And I feel like because New York is so populous, we do rely on, or like LA or like these bigger cities, we do rely on the apps for convenience. But I actually do feel like in New York there is starting to be a big push away from hinge of people just being like, I don't like it. It's not working. And I feel like we are in a sort of like the RIN period. I think more will emerge. But I try to be like very open to people about being like, set me up if you know anyone. Yeah. Like mm-hmm. You know, and I do get set up a decent amount through it and I really enjoy that for nothing else and just like meeting people. Totally. Um, but I think, think that probably comes, sorry to interrupt you, but like, I think that probably comes from like that smart of you to be like, I focus on female connections, right? Yeah. Yeah. Like, rather than like, I need to go, I had a friend in New York who was actually kind of like a really shitty girlfriend, but she like turned it all around and she was always super down to go out. Like my, you know, we, she'd be like, we could go out Friday, Saturday, like let's day drink on Sunday. And it was all because it was so thinly veiled in terms of like, I've gotta have maximum exposure to men. Where it was like, actually if you like, literally took a Xanax and you were a better girlfriend. I actually think, like, I'm not doing the, the, the math, the, the statistics there, but my hypothesis is that you actually would have better results. Yeah. Because girlfriends would be setting you up rather than you thinking you need to get in the reps. Chasing every day down, like at the bars. That's such a good thing. And I've struggle with that of feeling like, oh yeah, I need to be going out all the time. Exactly. Like I need the high exposure. Like Yeah. And then I'm just like, well, I'm not really happier for doing it. Yeah. I'm happy when I have like a, you know, spend time with my friends and mm-hmm. Like, also it's so with the energy you're putting out, and I feel like one of the better things that like that's happened to me is just not caring. And just being like letting go and just not really being fixated on a timeline. And I think, like Spencer and I, we kind of talked about this once in your office of just like truly to like have a connection with someone is very rare. Mm-hmm. And so many things have to go right and go wrong, like for all that to happen. And I've like gone on dates with tons of guys, but men I've actually had a connection with and liked. It's very, very few. Yep. And so you just like can't force it like you have to be. So many things just have to happen. It'll happen when it happens. And I've just sort of realized with things in life, whether it's like finding an apartment or a job or a boyfriend or like whatever, like when things happen, they fall into place quickly and easily and Yeah. It's just nothing you have to force. And so now I'm just like, everything will happen. I'm not really worried about how it's gonna happen. Mm-hmm. And probably won't look like what I expected it to look like a couple years ago, but it'll happen. What's the best thing about dating in New York? And then what's something you love about New York unrelated to dating? Yeah. Um, I mean, just like you can have so much fun and the fact that things are open so late, I mean. Um, the guy I was talking about where we were like on and off for two years, like our first date, it was like a Tuesday night. We met at a die bar. We ended up, that date was like five hours. Yeah.'cause then we could just like, go somewhere else and like go somewhere else. And like, that's actually like the classic New York date. Like I've heard the, the story is like in new, like with la it's like, oh no babe, we gotta get to the car. We've got the like Yeah. The, the like, everyone has to get back to like, what? And we go to bed. Yeah. Yeah. We go to bed. Or like, it's like 45 minutes back to my house. Where it's like in New York actually, like first dates that go well are like 6, 5, 6 hours. Because you could just Yeah. Keep bopping. Like the bopping around is what is so fun. Yeah. Um,'cause it just is like, it's fun to explore and it's fun to share things like mm-hmm. Oh, this is my favorite spot. And then, you know, showing that to someone and you all like, you're all like in this together. Yeah. New York's a magical place if you're open to it. I was not super open to it when I first moved here. And now I'm like, oh, I couldn't live anywhere else. Mm-hmm. Um, yeah, I feel very like ingrained. I think it just takes time. Um, New York does take time. Yeah. Because it can be, I mean you said you went from being a big fish in a little pond, like Talk about the inverse of that. Like immediately completely like you and you wanna get plugged in in New York, but you don't know how to a lot of ways and you don't know like what's the best way. Um, and especially, and this actually leads to my next question for you. Um. It's hard, increasingly hard to get plugged in and to have all of these like different extracurriculars and um, like other avenues to, to meet people and to do things if you're working a crazy job. Yeah. Um, so people obviously love to say that like women in New York are like workhorses and they're totally driven by their careers and super ambitious. Do you think that's true holistically? Um, and how does your job affect your dating? Yeah, I mean, I think most people come to New York to work hard at whatever it is that they're doing. Mm-hmm. And I think that New York demands excellence. Um, and, and that's how you get squashed here is if you don't wanna rise dedication, because there's always gonna be someone else that's gonna be willing to take your spot and work harder than you. Mm-hmm. And so I feel like women do work really hard and they do want good careers, just like men do. Um, and I, especially in our type of job that's just very demanding for your hours. I mean, it's so hard to plan things and that's why I feel like I can't really do a lot of like, recreational activities because I can't commit to like a set time. I've tried to pick up a lot more hobbies, um, but they're all just sort of things I do on my own time. So I'm a figure runner. I run the marathon, but like I'm running by myself at time or sometimes with friends, but I'm running at times that are convenient for my schedule. I can't like commit to running at 6:00 PM of like every, you know, Tuesday or whatever. Yeah. Um, but yeah, it's like I can't join like in Williamsburg, like a kickball league totally. You can't do that. Or like a girl's, like a girl's like, um, book club that meets like 6:00 PM on a Monday night. It's like, okay. Yeah. And yeah. And when am I gonna read the effing book? Yeah, exactly. And it's like, also it's like does make dating hard also. Especially not all men. Really like, appreciate and understand that our time is really not our own. Even men who work really hard in other areas have more control over their time. Mm-hmm. And, but some men are really understanding and that makes it more fun to just be like, okay, yeah. Like I'd love to do something tonight, but I, I'm not sure if I'm gonna be able to until, like, I'll probably know by like five or 6:00 PM and then we're gonna meet up at nine o'clock and like get a drink and then, you know, and so it's just like that, like being really flexible. So you have to find people that are down for that. Yeah. Which you would need anyway to be flexible with time. Yeah. So it's, it's honestly probably good that you can figure that out quickly.'cause totally anyone who's like, oh no, I need you to be able to commit three days in advance to a 7:00 PM reservation. It's like, okay, well this isn't gonna go anywhere long term anyway. Totally. Yeah. Do you date lawyers? No. I have kind of like a general rule against that. Me too. Um, I'm like, I don't wanna date anyone that does with what I do. Yeah. I don't wanna date someone who's or be with someone long term whose commodity is their time. Yeah. Because like, I wanna be the focus. Yeah. And um, so I don't wanna date lawyers and I don't wanna date doctors. No, I think that's so fair. So wait, next. I feel like you have really good Ricks for this. You were talking about, so you can do best bars for meeting. So like initial question is like, best bars for meeting single guys in New York. Yes. And then maybe talk us through like what your dream date of bouncing around like hotspots in New York that like make up the perfect dream date. Yes. Okay. So, I mean, to be clear, like the type of guy that I'm into is a, is a guy that goes to dive bars, um, opposed to going to like an upscale cocktail lounge. This is like one of the like 10 commandments of this podcast is like, don't go to cocktail bars if you want. Yeah, yeah. But like I, I have like, and they're also just not as fun. Like, no. Um, I love going to ear in, that's kinda on my spot. Um, radio bar, WXOU bar in West Village. It's not a good spot. Fantastic bar. Cash only. Yes, cash only. Corner Bistro. Yes. That's good one. Also in West Village also. Like, wait, do you like go out there? Um, more like on a weeknight. Yeah. Yeah, I probably don't go out out there. Um, but like, guys are always there. Always there. Mm-hmm. Um, but also like, I mean, I don't go out out to year in, it's kind of like the night starts there or ends there. It's, I don't know. But like I'm either like going out with my girlfriends and we will go to like, swan room or like, we'll do something fun like that. Yeah. Um, or I'm going out with like my more like big group of friends, like guys and girls, but it's like more casual. Like we just go and sit. You're in all night. Spring Lounge. How did I forget? Spring Lounge. Oh, spring Lounge. Yeah. Spring Lounge. I'm a frequent cure of Spring Lounge. Okay. Yeah. Um, those are good. Okay. And now your dream bounce around. Wait, so you're like, you're like a dime square girl. I do like Dime square. Yeah. I have, this is a recipe that I have. Baked many times, and it is, put your name in a Kiki's. Go get a drink at Clandestino. Then when your table's ready, go to Kiki's and then go get a drink at Casino. Then maybe dive it up, go to 1 6 9 bar, you know, then maybe go to Ladi. Ladi, yeah. Um, and or just like, or flower shop or, yeah. Um, just like hit around like any spot that'll take you, so like, that's just kind of like a good, um, that's a great, like works every time and also like you are never in a part of like, name another part of New York that feels as like alive and buzzy. Totally. And it's still like a big grungy the way that you kind of want New York to be, but also like the part of new you don't really wanna live in, but like the part of New York where you're like, oh yeah, I'm in New York. Like this is it. This is why I'm here. Yeah. Yes. Yes. You feel very like Kate Moss or like Amanda binds and what a girl or what girl wants at like the beginning. Yeah. Obsessed. What about not like bar options for meeting guys? I did go to run clubs, like when I was starting to get into running, and I was really just ended up talking to girls. Yeah. So like the net net is like when people, I was always, yeah. People were like, oh, but like, have you tried the run clubs? No. Have you tried this? I'm like, yeah, but people aren't like really meeting like that. Like people meet when you have like a whole, like a party and you're like, you invite a friend and they're now around like a whole new group of people and you know, like, like a spark happens like that way, like through a, going to. Friend's birthday or party, we need to bring back house. Parties. Parties. We need to bring parties. No, no. Spark happens like. You're both like looking in the fridge. There's no one else in the like 100 square foot kitchen. Yeah. Like, you're like, oh my God, the beer options are shit. We should have these two jello shots. Like, nothing happens like that moment. And like I'm, I'm down to start it and host it and like yeah. I've been more of a community. Yeah. I've been working on this and I'm always like, when I say it's open invite, I mean it Yeah. Like really bring anyone, like I, it's, I don't, it doesn't ever end up being like a ton of people, but I'm like, if you like your boyfriend's friend, like has nothing to do that night. Like bring them. Yeah, totally. Oh yeah. I mean, that's just fun. And I feel like that's like, what I just try have like come back down to is like seriously lowering my expectations. Yeah. And being like probably wasn't gonna need anyone, but hopefully I just have like talked to someone and spark a connection with fun. Um, Jeffrey, who did happen to me at a friend's birthday this past year, like, and she had like a friend from camp come and we had like a really nice conversation with this guy. He ended up asking me out, but then I kind of was like, I don't know about it. And um, but then it was like we went away for the weekend and then I forgot to text him back. You know, had to, I think that's fine. But then she had dinner with him recently and he brought it up and was like, she never texted me back. And I was like, I'm so sorry. It happens though. It's just like life gets busy and I'm not intentionally trying to ignore you, but like if you're not checking in, let's just let it go. Like it doesn't have, I feel like sometimes it's like we get a little too crazy about like, everyone deserving a breakup text. Yes. And it's like we went on two dates. You can probably tell that I didn't feel it.'cause you haven't heard from me. Yes, exactly. Exactly. You know, like if I forgot to text you, then I probably didn't like you enough to see it. Yes. Wait. Oh, I have to read this one though. This is one of my favorite, um, like ending things. Text uhhuh or just like, we only got on one date. Yeah. And it was not good. It was, I was set up with a guy and, um, wait, this is perfect.'cause we were about to ask you What's your worst date? Worst. Oh, okay. Honestly, this isn't even the worst one, but like it's out there. Um, but so like, I was set up with this guy and I was like excited because I'm like. I was like, oh, like a new connection, whatever. Mm-hmm. And he is like, well, I think he was like 39. I was like, okay. Um, but I didn't know anything about him. It was truly blind. And so we walk in, he picked a good place like near Bond Street, um, but like a bar never heard of, but like a good bar. Yeah. And um, we go and then like one of the first things he tells when he is that he lives in Long Island City. So immediately I was like, okay, this is over because that's in Queens and it's like, this is over a river. Like this is truly a long distance relationship, right? Yeah. Like you practically, like I have to get on a plane to see like, it's like Green Point, but less cool. Yeah. And like, like I'm like, it would take 40 minutes to get there at best. Yeah. So I'm like, this is just not gonna work out. So, but whatever. But I was like, you know what, I'm gonna have a nice time with you anyway. And he just ends up being like a little weird. Um, like he just like kept like touching my arm and I kept like, kind of like backing up. And um, and he just, I remember he, uh, he was like missing like one of his teeth, like, like not the canine, but like one next to it. And he was like talking about it and then talking about how like his mom's a hygienist. And then I was like, why do you have this issue? And then he keeps like touching his teeth with his hand. And like in New York, like we we're, we're very careful with our hands, like, right? Like,'cause we're touching dirty stuff all day. Like I would never, ever, ever. Touch my teeth, like outside of like brushing my teeth or whatever. We live in a Petri dish. Yeah, yeah. And I was like, what the fuck? Uh, I dunno. It was like weird. And then he made a comment, I dunno, we got to talking about something and then it was like, it was relevant to the conversation and he was like, oh yeah. Did you hear about like how like in Korea they've like come out of the way to like use a pill to treat prostate cancer? And I was like, I was like, well of course first eight combos. I know. I was like, well of course, like all the research dollars are like going behind cancers that only affect men. Um, and then he kind of looks at me and he is like. Um, do only men get prostate cancer? And then I like couldn't tell if it was a bit, so I was like, I was like, are you joking? And he was like, no. He's like, only men get prostate cancer. And I was like, well, I was like, only men have prostates. And he's like, they do. He was like, women don't have prostates. And I was like, no. And um, he's like, well, what do prostates do? And I was like, I was like, I feel like you should God, ask your doctor about that. Yeah. Um, I'm like, also you're and clearly not your mother because she taught you nothing. Yeah, yeah. Also, like, this man is pushing 40, so I'm, he should be screening. Like, I'm like, are you not talking about this with your doctor already? Like, okay. So like, that was just weird. Um, and I was like, this is just, and I kept like trying to end the date and, um, and then like finally like, we're leaving. And then like we, we walk out of the bar and I'm like, all right, let's like see you later. And he's like, oh, I'll walk. Fuck you. And I was like, fuck. Um, and then like, it was like every like block. I was like, okay. And then he was like, oh no, I got another block. And I was like, okay. Um, and then finally like we leave, um, and then he text me within 10 minutes of like, he got on the train.'cause you know, he used to, you know, start his journey, journey back home. Um, and I'm like, at this point now, like 15 minute walks, I just walk home. But he texted me 10 minutes later, did you beat me home? I just didn't respond.'cause I was like, this is crazy. Um, okay. So then four days later he texted me this. Okay, I have to get serious. Hey, so I'm feeling really bad about last week. I wanted to reach out and apologize. I had taken a micro dose of mushrooms before we met up, which I do sometimes, but I'm tired as hell in the middle of our date. It hit me like a ton of bricks and I was basically having a full on panic attack and I was chatting with you. Totally not cool. And I'm so, so sorry. I was on the fence about even saying anything but thought you might get a laugh out of it. I would love to make it up to you, but totally understand if you have no interest, if you're up for it, I'll give you some options of fun NYC, things we could do together to make up for it. And I was like, what is wrong with this man? I was like, who wins this man? And I was like, he also didn't seem like he was on drugs or anything. Like he seemed normal. He just seemed stupid. Yeah. And it was, that's like, unfortunately I'm still not getting the correlation between like a basic anatomy. Yeah. Like knowledge. Yeah. And it's, it's almost like he thinks the only reason why I haven't texted him or wouldn't be interested is because like he did this microdose. Like that's the only reason. Right. Exactly. Exactly. And as you learn from my other texts I told you about when men are like, what happened or whatever, I tend to just be like,, you know, the spark just wasn't there for me or whatever. Yeah. I was like, it is time to be honest. This man was asking for feedback. All right. Yes. So feedback I gave, I said, Hey, honestly, it's really all good. No sweat. I didn't even notice at all. I just thought you were a bit weird. Thanks for the drinks and good luck out there. Nina. That's actually the funniest thing I've ever heard. Yeah. And to my friends, I like always talk about this out. Like, like, and they're like, oh, that I like completely. This man is like still crying about this. I'm like, wasn't that bad. All I said was that he was a bit, I thought you were weird and he's gonna be able to, because he's a man, he will compartmentalize that and say, oh, I was microdosing. And so she thought I was weird, not weird. And also like, there's, there's nothing wrong with me. Yeah, totally. Um, but I was like, you know, you never take that to hard. So I was really proud of myself for giving some honest feedback and I love, oh my God, that's incredible. And he took it really well. He said, his response was like, haha, fair enough. Like, good luck. And I was like, great. He was like, he was all like me and my microdosing. Yeah. He was like, and it was like a, like a Thursday night or something. Like the fact that he's like, I do that sometimes I get work. Yeah. What, like, you're in sales. Oh my God. So last question of the podcast. Okay. We always ask this, regardless of all these crazy stories, are you optimistic about the date of the union, the state of dating in New York City? Yes. I'm optimistic. I think that, you know, I think love is hard and challenging and if it wasn't then we wouldn't have so many books and songs and movies and paintings and like, you know what I mean? Like, it's obviously like not straightforward and linear. Um, and it's not easily defined. And I think a lot of you look around sometimes and you think that, oh, you know, so many people have found their partner already. Um, so it makes it harder, but it's just always, it's just, it just takes one person. Mm-hmm. And you never know when that's gonna happen. I think that the, the uncertainty is exciting. I think that, you know, we live in a really fun place. There's a lot of fun things to do and you'll meet so much time is right when you're at least expecting it. And that's like how it's always happened for me. Um, I'm optimistic. Yay. Okay. Thank you so much. My, my son just got here, so I do have to go. My dog, my dog, my in-laws and my dog arrived. This was amazing. I don't think either of us thought you meant Yeah, I was like, I have a long but, okay. Nina, thank you so much. Yeah, my pleasure. Really fun. Yeah. Happy new year. Okay. Bye. Bye.

Speaker 2: 1:04:01

Okay guys, thanks so much for listening to this week's episode. Please rate and review and follow us on Instagram. God bless our listeners, and God bless the single women of the United States.